I live in California where water is at a premium so when I decided to landscape our front yard a few years ago, I designed it with about forty percent rock, and sixty percent grass. I was really happy with how it turned out. I’ve since learned that the landscaper I hired did not put the weed block under the rocks so now I start the spring with sixty percent grass and forty percent weeds. Frustrating right? So now I spend fifteen to twenty minutes each day uncovering my rocks. This is leaving me with a good chunk of time for thinking.
I was too smart to ever say I was bored as a child. My dad’s go-to response was, “I have some weeds you can pull.” Whining about boredom = chores so you may as well suck it up and find some way to entertain yourself. I think that may be why I spent my childhood holed up in my room reading. No wait, that was just because I liked my room and I love reading. Anyways, now that I’m spending some time weeding my yard, thinking, I’m enjoying the time because I feel closer to my dad while I’m doing yard work. It’s turned into a working meditation time.
One of my big breakthroughs has been, “Weeds are easier to pull after the rain.” This is true both literally and figuratively. A good soak makes the weeds easier to pull out by the roots. But think about the storms you’ve weathered in your own life. After a big one blows through and emotionally knocks you on your ass, who is left around you? Your ride or dies. The storms of life help us see very clearly who our real friends are. A good storm will differentiate “family” from “relatives.” And when the storm passes, but while the ground is still wet, you can go out and pluck the weeds from your life. You have permission to let go of any relationships that don’t serve the person you are growing into. Let me say that again so I’m sure you hear me. As you experience life, grow and learn, the relationships you have may not keep up. It is okay to let those relationships go. They will always be part of your story. They will always have a place in your heart. But you don’t have to nurture relationships that no longer fit into the life you’ve created.
Sometimes you need to let old things go to make room for new things that are a better fit.